Princess Dotty- 8weeks

Times gone so quickly! 

You're 8weeks old today and you weigh 11lbs 8oz. Up unless about 4pm you had been as good as gold, I went to the shops and left you and Daddy at home, it was his first time being alone with you. When I had got back I found out you had been a bit of a monkey and not done much sleeping! And from then on the rest of the day was tough. 

It's now 10.45pm and I have only just managed to put you down to sleep, you must be shattered because you haven't had enough sleep today. 

 You've changed so much since you were born and I know you will continue to change as time goes on. 

You can hold your own head, and your legs are extremely strong too. Every morning Daddy and I are woken up by your cooing, you like little chats and often have then with us. You're definitely a cheeky monkey, when/if you have a night feed(Some nights you've gone without I ne) you look into my eyes and smile as if you're telling me you're ready for play time, but mummy is extremely tired and wants to go back to bed. Although I can't help but smile back at you. 

Your charactor is blossoming, I'm now starting to learn what you do and don't like, what to do to make you smile. How you sound when you want a feed and when you're tired. It's becoming normal now that every morning you wake up all smiles and we often have a 10min chat, then you get bored and we have to find something else to entertain you. 

One Tuesday (5days time) you have you first jabs, I must say I'm a little nervous! I can already guess you're not going to like it one bit, hearing you cry because something's hurting you is going to be hard, but I'll make sure I give you the biggest cuddle after! 

I love you so much Princess 

To the moon and back

Mummy

     X 

So little time!

So today I woke up to the chatter of Princess Dotty (this happens most mornings now, it melts my heart everytime). So the morning started off good. The day still is good, I'm currently on the sofa with my Princess sleeping on my lap. 

But..

Earlier there was a 20min period where the flat was irritating me. I had washing all over the place, sides full of washing up and a pile of paperwork that been there since before PD was born. 

I know everyone tells you to forget the house work for a while, that can be done another day and forget all the things that need doing, they can wait. There comes a time when you just want to do clear it. 

Fortunately PD fell asleep and I was able to go through the massive pile of paperwork!!

I've still got house work to do but that can wait now, just doing one little bit made me feel so much better! Plus someone woke up just as I was finishing the first job (perfect timing!). I couldn't resist a cuddle as she was chatting away to herself.

It's the first time in a long while I've got irritated, I almost felt claustrophobic as if the place was to cluttered. There's just so much to do and such little time to squeeze it in!

I've now decided to write a list of what needs to be done, I can slowly tick things off as and when I do them :) 

A little treat

During my pregnancy I didn't get myself any new clothes (ok maybe some jeans because none of mine fitted!!). I didn't see the point in getting anything stylish or nice because whatever I bought would only fit me for a small time, I would get to big for it or now having given birth I'd be to small. 

I never wanted to buy maternity clothes, 2 reasons. 1. You spend a maximum of 9months in these clothes that you spent a fortune and it wasn't something you particularly liked. 2. I couldn't ever find nice maternity clothes, they always looked frumpy or just a bit plain. Again you have to spend a fortune on them yet not really liking them. 

Maybe I never found anything that would suit me because I didn't go out my way to find them. 

So over the past couple of weeks I've been treating myself to shopping trips. I'm now back into my size 8 jeans, I still have a but of toning on the tummy to do but I've been feeling a little more comfortable and confident. 

I been really wanting to update my wardrobe for a while, I wanted to be a little more fashionable. I have a habit of wearing jeans and a vest top. 

So here's some of the clothes I got. 

(Please excuse the quality of the photos)

Relationships are hard..

.. But having a baby is harder

We all know relationships are hard, there's always arguments and tough times. One of you might storm out the house in a huff. The majority of the time the arguments are pointless and other times they might need more than just a cuddle to say sorry (flowers are always nice, unless I'm the one in the wrong). 

Or you might have issues where you need the other to support you. It could be a bad day at work and you need to talk about it, a family issue and you need that shoulder to cry on, or issues with yourself that can get you so low you need someone to stand by you 100% of the way.

All these things have a massive strain on relationships and can break you are make you. When it makes you, you know each other extremely well. You know what makes each other tick, what the right buttons to push are (and the wrong ones), you know how to make that person feel good about themselves and know what to say and when to say nothing and listen.

When it's just two of you, you are each others worlds. Everything you do is either for yourself or them. When you decide to bring a new little life into the world, the whole dynamics of your relationship changes. It isn't all about you anymore, it's about the baby. Everything you do is for that little one, you go to bed late, wake up in the night and get up early to feed and settle them. Through out the day whilst attempting to have a shower, feed yourself or trying to pick up the mess you've created, you are looking after you baby and when they need you, nothing else matters (the first 3 days of Princess Dotty being here, I didn't brush my hair, brush my teeth or shower... gross, I know!!). What starts happening is, you forget there's 3 to this family (when you're a first time mummy and daddy that is). 

On top of trying to juggle life at home, you still have to work at your relationship but its often forgotten. Up until 2 days ago, my partner and I had forgotten each other. We forgot that we needed to work as a team, forgot to have a laugh, forgot to have a cuddle just us two, forgot to talk to each other about our feelings and how our days had been. Tension between us grow, it grew enough for me to walk out for the night. It was an extremely hard and painful decision but both my partner and I agreed it was the best thing I could of done. 

It allowed us both time to think, time away to miss each other, time to realise how much we wanted each other. It reminded us, each other matter and that we needed to make time for each other and help each other out. 

There's many things my partner had forgotten or not realised I needed, but he isn't the only one at fault. I spend everyday with my daughter but he doesn't get that, he has to wake up in the morning whilst she sleeping, kisses her on her head and leaves for work. Spends 15 hours out the house, only to return to her sleeping. Sometimes he gets in but it's not long till she's drifting off to sleep again or crying for food. Although he does get a little to spend with her and show her as much love as he can in that small time. It still must be hard on him. I can see how much he loves our daughter and would love more time with her, but at the end of a long days work and another one to wake up to he's shattered. Yet he still manages to cook, clean and put some washing on when I haven't managed to during the day. I appreciate everything he does (just as he does me) but I'd forgotten to tell him. 

Being parents isn't easy and we realise we need to support each other because we are both going to have hard days, but we remember that everything that gets us down not only do we have each other for support and a cuddle, we have a beautiful baby girl to make us smile.

To my Partner and my Princess Dotty,

I love you both very much!

              xxx

Princess Dotty - 5 weeks

Our Little Piglet 

There's not been a day gone by that I haven't been proud of you! In the first week it was every burp; all of them would make me smile and feel so happy, I'm sure when you get to 18 sitting at the dinner table burping I won't be so impressed. Now at 5 weeks old and you have already learnt to smile and chatter away to yourself, it melts my heart every time you do it. 

The first 3 days with you was difficult for me. When you talk to people about child birth, a lot of mothers mention about the burst of love they feel when their tiny bundle of joy is born and gets placed onto their chest. Unfortunately for some, including me don't feel it. I don't think it helped that I hadn't slept in over 33 hours. When Nanna and Grandpa visited the hospital I was happy to let them hold you for ages, in my mind I knew I would have you for the rest of the night but to Nanna this was a warning sign. 

Over the next couple of days I made sure I looked after you, fed you, changed you, cleaned you and tried to show you love, whilst trying to catch up on sleep. I had Daddy looking after me, making me breakfast, lunch and dinner and he would also do all the house work. I wanted to do the house work but Daddy wouldn't let me do anything. The first couple of weeks are such a blur now, everything seems to merge into one day. I can't remember not feeling love for you or what I felt like when I think back but I can remember the day I fell in love with you! 

It was on day 3 that we had a family cuddle on the bed, I looked and you and Daddy having a cuddle and I couldn't help but cry. I had an overwhelming urge to cuddle you and have you close, to look at your tiny hands, and just sit and watch you sleep, you was perfect (and still are). I then realised this was the rush of love people always speak about. I sat with you alone on my chest for 2 hours crying, I couldn't believe for the last 3 days I hadn't felt this way about you, that made me cry even more thinking what I had missed. I guess I felt guilty and sad, those first few days of your life and I hadn't shown you the love you deserved. 
During the next couple of days I was very honest with Daddy and Nanna, I told them both how I had been feeling. Nanna had already been worrying and for the next week asked me how I felt about you. After talking it out it made me realise that I couldn't continue thinking about those 3 days, all I could do is make sure I cherish every moment with you now. 

Oh and that rush (of love) never stops rushing, every time I look at you now, I can't help but smile and just want to pick you up and cuddle you in close. Every time I look at you and watch you smile at me whilst I fall more and more in love. 

I am sorry that I didn't feel that love for you straight away, I did know I loved you but just couldn't feel it. But now I'm completely in love with you. You are my world, I didn't think it was possible to be happier with my life but I am. Every new thing you do,every time you cry and every time you look in my eyes and smile, when you chatter away to yourself. It's all worth getting up everyday for. 

My beautiful Princess

I love you to the moon and back

Mummy

    x

Like a child at Christmas!

I think I've found the one!

As a new mummy I needed a new changing bag. I already have one that matches the pram but after using it for a few weeks, i've decided its to small and doesn't have enough compartments to keep things organised.

I never realised how expensive changing bags were until shopping for one, I guess I've gotten used to cheap high street clothes, accessories and bags. One thing I should be used to is variety, we all know how many different kinds of bags but for some reason I was shocked at the variety of changing bags you can buy. Obviously this caused a problem when choosing one, was I to get one that both my partner and I could use or a really girlie one that he wouldn't want to be see carrying. Finally after a week of searching I have found one and I'm in love with it, its from the make Lassig.

My partner told me I was like a child at Christmas when I was emptying out the old changing bag and organising it into the new. It is the perfect back though! 

The travel changing mat had a zip away compartment at the bottom of the back which is easy for you to locate when needed and perfectly hidden when it's not in use. 

Inside the bag there two pockets, one for nappies and the other for wipes. The wipes pocket has an opening on the front so you don't need to remove them from your bag. On the opposite side there's and easy wipe pocket, that's great for wet or dirty clothes in, you can zip them away and wipe once you're home. 

The bag also includes a bottle insulater and a smaller baby, that's perfect to put all my belongings in making it easy to locate my keys, purse and phone. 

Not only does this bag have all these great features but it's also huge inside, so I can fill in full of everything I need for a day out, perfect!